For all my friends

[darktrigger]

For all my friends for whom English is not the first language..................

Asylum for the verbally insane

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would
never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we
never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine,
she, shis and shim.
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine
in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England .
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet
that smell .
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wiseman
and
a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

So if Dad is Pop, how come Mom isn't Mop?

And I've often wondered: How come we park in a driveway and drive on a
parkway?

Makes no sense!


I had a good laugh about it

Hope you did to

[Poolqs]

Here, hear, heir,,,,,,,
Or, oar, ore .....
To, too, two ....

Boy is that correct !! We do have a lot of terms that don't make
sense. The scary part of All of these.... most of them where
brought to us from the boat people coming to America

We adopted the Queens language and then added everyone
elses just to make this wonderful language our own.

Ok... here is a couple for you....

why in English we have correct sentence structures and the
rest of the other languages won't correct theirs ??

English: I do not like to go to the park.
Dutch: Ik hou niet om van naar het park te gaan.
"I do not of to the park to go"
German: Ich mag zum Park nicht gehen.
"I like to the park not go"

And you think OUR language is tough, try it from THIS side of
the pond. We try to read your sentences and they jump
back and forth. You Dutch just scramble your sentences and
the Germans at least say a sentence but then add NICHT and
the end. So while you are reading it, you are confused till the
end.

This is why in the US we have such a hard time learning new
languages. We have been drilled our entire lives on sentence
structures to always make "a flowing sentence". If it doesn't
sound correct while reading it, its probably wrong !!

It doesn't make sense

[darktrigger]

Now i know where all those faults are comming from

Just Kidding, Old Man....

Like the response you made on it... I know its harder for you to understand our language then for us to understand yours...

B.t.w. A Translating Program is not as smart as you think It has the abillity to Change words, not a complete sentence Becouse if you Translate a sentence from english to a other language and you translate it back to english again it will scrambled totaly

[morgen]

poolqs said:

English: I do not like to go to the park.
Dutch: Ik hou niet om van naar het park te gaan.
"I do not of to the park to go"
German: Ich mag zum Park nicht gehen.
"I like to the park not go"

And you think OUR language is tough, try it from THIS side of
the pond. We try to read your sentences and they jump
back and forth. You Dutch just scramble your sentences and
the Germans at least say a sentence but then add NICHT and
the end. So while you are reading it, you are confused till the
end.

i think u use a tranlater for this nice german sentence.
--> Ich mag nicht zum Park gehen. <--

its not like the school-britisch - enlisch
e.g. : its a good car , isn't it....

so u have much to learn....
life is the real school!

[Poolqs]

I have been corrected..... Thanks

Yes, I have been trying to learn a little bit of both languages.
and yes, at some points I DO use a translater just to try to
keep up. I also have 2 books on my desk to help me with the
"education" parts of the languages.

No matter if its from a translating site or from a book......
It don't make sense

I'm an old dog trying to learn a new trick

[-=]RegulaR[=-]

Well thats why ENGLISH is the most difficult language of all it has weird plural endings and etc

[***THoMaSSo [eXe]]

Morgen

lol

[colmusturd]

[pride]

lol love that comic

[colmusturd]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotioations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer, poeple wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl rite n styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[Poolqs]

Col.... your the king

Once again, you put laughter into another catagory

By the Fifth year... You said it was back to German but
to these old eyes....

still GREEK to me

[***THoMaSSo [eXe]]

Haha thnx, guys needed a good laugh

[***BLENDER [eXe]]

Nice comic